If there is one word that sums up the essence of The Mysterious Beings, it is synergy. When they come together, these talented musicians’ individual brilliance coalesces into something greater than the sum of its parts. Imagine Kit Bashir’s plaintive Afghan nose harp if it wasn’t completely drowned out by the others in the band. It would be very hard to listen to.
Many critics, however, credit guitarist Dee Sharpe with single-handedly propelling the band to where it is today. The operative word here is “single-handedly.” All keen musical historians will recall that Dee lost his left hand to an infected llama bite prior to a concert on the shores of Lake Titicaca in 2013, but it takes an extra special level of dedication to travel to Peru and actually track down the llama that inflicted musical history’s most influential bite by a member of the camelidae family – but that’s exactly what enterprising young superfan Nigel Sidebotham has done.
Thirteen year-old Nigel discovered Lloyd the llama in a field just outside Puno in September of this year. He was able to identify Lloyd by the detailed description furnished by the band and by matching Lloyd’s teeth with the marks on Dee’s hand, preserved in formaldehyde for future display in the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame. Unfortunately, while conducting the dental comparison, Nigel himself suffered a serious injury to his own left hand and, sadly, it had to be amputated about a week later. Undeterred, Nigel plans to open a visitor’s center, museum and gift shop in Lloyd’s field. He has also started to learn the guitar.
Nigel is our junior fan of the month.
One of the many unique things about the Mysterious Beings is that we are unable to play large venues due to drummer Kit Bashir’s acute agoraphobia. Stadiums, which could hold our legions of fans, are out of the question. This can lead to dangerous situations as large crowds try to pack into small spaces. In fact, the only way we are able safely to play live at all is to do so unannounced in front of whoever happens to be there. This can pose some pretty tricky logistical problems. Just ask our roadie, Mike Cable.
“If anyone were to spot me entering a building carrying an amp or the band’s instruments and figure out what’s going on, there’s a strong probability of pandemonium breaking out. That’s why I always work disguised as a fat bald guy in a torn Led Zeppelin tee-shirt.”
So, if you happen to see a dapper hipster in a purple bow-tie, stepping out of a 1999 Ford Transit van, you can be sure there’s no concert planned. Mike is off duty.
Mike owes his dream job to being one of very few people to hold a PhD in Being a Roadie, with a specialization in placing a cable on the stage, disappearing for ten minutes and then re-appearing twenty-five minutes after the show was supposed to start to move it eight inches before leaving the stage again.
When he’s not working, Mike’s hobbies include bow-ties, being handsome and raising his glasses ironically.
Great news for our fan! A brand new song from the Mysterious Beings is now available for your listening pleasure.
Initially, I hesitated to make it available, being alive to the very real danger of it being so good that I would not be able to cope with its inevitable success and the changes this would bring to my life. After listening to it again, sober this time, I felt confident that it was safe to do so.
Yesterday, the Mysterious Beings reached a milestone in their meteoric* rise to fame. We passed 1000 plays at SoundCloud. I suspect that this is due to somebody listening to a couple of songs and accidentally leaving their phone in repeat mode for several days, but I’m not excluding the possibility that it’s because our brilliance is finally being recognized. A big thank you to all our fans. Or fan.
* The Mysterious Beings resemble a meteorite in that they have been seen by very few inhabitants of this galaxy.
I am often asked* how we achieve that unique Mysterious Beings sound. What kind of expensive studio equipment do we use to massage the raw musical energy of the band into the smooth, silky, sophisticated vocal and instrumental stylings that are so instantly recognizable to our fan?
Well, the answer is our studio manager, Big Mike.
Mike recently joined us from Best Buy and took over from Wee Mike, who quit for health reasons. Big Mike is a “Blue Yeti,” as can be seen from the fact that he is silver and not a yeti, but just a microphone, though admittedly a big-assed one. The most prized quality in any microphone I use is the ease with which it can be persuaded to make my voice sound as unlike my voice as possible. By this measure, Big Mike still has room to improve, but, as we become friends, there is a good chance that our partnership could result in more songs. Sorry about that.
* By the voices in my head.
Welcome to the world of The Mysterious Beings. From time to time, I will post news here to keep you up to date with the latest happenings with the band. You can also follow us on Facebook.